official word = January 5th

Yesterday was my progesterone test, and I passed with flying colors! Meaning, it was what it should be for 7 days past ovulation, but I still need to continue with the morning/evening suppositories. It actually has not been as bad as last cycle... I mean, it's still gross, but because I'm off work right now the drowsiness and other side effects haven't been a big deal. Now I just wait some more.... official blood pregnancy test will be Wednesday the 5th. I'm sure I'll do a home test before then ;) because how can someone possibly be expected to be that patient! In the meantime, no more alcohol and caffeine and lots of prayers. My little 4-year-old niece has been praying and wishing for a baby for me too.... how can it NOT happen?! :)

MAGNIFICENT morning!

I heard some good stuff this morning, and one was that my "man" is MAGNIFICENT! They check out the sperm after it thaws, and the nurse said that even if it was fresh sperm it would be considered good, but at post-thaw it is magnificent! So everything is optimal for conception to occur.... I just pray that a good egg popped out so the MAGNIFICENT sperm could meet it! :) The nurse said my lining is good for implantation, but I still need to start the progesterone tonight because without a high enough level nothing will stick. I go back next Wednesday for a progesterone level check, and then 2 weeks for the pregnancy test. A baby is the only Christmas gift I want, so PLEASE Santa be good to me! :)

ready to go!

YAY to insemination on Wednesday! My left ovary is a rock star, with the lead follicle at 20, and two more follicles at 13 and 14, and the right ovary has two follicles, one at 15 and the other at 16. I do the trigger shot tonight, and then report in at 8:30 Wed. morning! I'm choosing to visualize that by Wed. there will be several ripe, juicy eggs to pop out and that one of them will be overtaken by the little spermies! :)

early morning monitoring

When I called yesterday and rambled on... first to the receptionist and then to the nurse... they so kindly said they'd have me come back this morning rather than have me feeling anxious waiting til Monday. :) I had to leave the house at 6:40am for the appointment (I guess that just shows that I really, REALLY want this!) Anyhow, the lead follicle is 19 (great!) and there are several others that are at least over 10, so it's much more than was happening last cycle. Go back Monday morning...

told to have intercourse!

This morning's ultrasound showed activity on both ovaries and the nurse guessed they would have me back on Saturday, and that I probably won't add any of the injections at this point because they ovaries are already moving and shaking and they don't want to OVER stimulate. When they called after the blood work results, the nurse just said she guessed wrong and that he wants me back on Monday. It's a difference of 2 days, so no big deal, right? EXCEPT when you are talking about the small window for ovulation and the egg living for 12-24 hours! Anyhow, I reminded myself that they know what they are doing, so after the nurse schedules me in for Monday morning, I ask her again.... "so, I shouldn't do anything else between now and Monday?" And she responded with, "no, just have intercourse." WHAT?!?!?! I meant in terms of medication!!
I understand they have hundreds of women in and out of there, but really....
All that aside, my real concern is this: Monday is day 14 of my cycle; for the nurse to even suggest I have intercourse sounds to me like she thinks I could maybe, possibly, ovulate.... I think for my own peace of mind I need to call and talk with a nurse again tomorrow (hopefully a different nurse!) They have done such close monitoring, last cycle having me in 3 days in a row, that my logical side says they are on top of this and wouldn't chance ovulation happening.... my crazy, perseverating, conceiving-consumed side says that mistakes happen and I don't want to not question something and show up on Monday and learn that this cycle is out.
Ok, that's my story for today....

clomid cycle #2

Well, Thursday morning's ultrasound showed some leftover follicle/cyst from the previous cycle, so they had me come back in this morning to see if it was diminishing on it's on. Fortunately it is so I was able to begin the clomid tonight. I go back Thursday morning to see what the clomid has done.... from there they'll decide how to proceed with the injectables.
A slightly awkward moment happened this morning at the office. It's a tiny office, just the one fertility doctor and his staff, and a small waiting room to go along with it. When I go during the week, I am usually in and out, but Saturdays it is often packed. As I sat there this morning, out of the office walked someone I know! Someone I work with! Someone that doesn't know I'm doing all this! I keep wondering what she thought... we chatted a little bit but not about what we were doing there... it was a bit unexpected!

Day 1

I called the office to report cycle day 1 and will go in Thursday morning, and they've already ordered all the meds for this cycle which will be delivered Thursday afternoon. The meds arrive UPS and it's safest to have them shipped to work, but I also then have that paranoid "I hope no one opens my package by mistake" feeling!
I've been thinking a lot lately how quickly this experience went from being that of a single woman deciding to have a baby, to that of someone "infertile" TRYING to have a baby. Even the title of this blog now seems off.... "spermseeking" is the very least of my concerns.
At the moment I'm feeling good about starting a new cycle though... probably because I don't have any added drugs or hormones in my body making me all wacky yet! That's my deep thought for tonight. :)

not pregnant

I wasn't surprised, because I actually took another pregnancy test Friday morning. It's ok. Now I just wait until I get my period and we start up again. The nurse said it usually takes a few days after stopping the progesterone for the period to come, but all this "stuff" can screw up your cycle so if it doesn't come within the week to call them. I was prepared for the "not pregnant" news, but the other thing the nurse shared was that the next time around, they want me to automatically start the progesterone as soon as I am inseminated. UGH! Really? I will have to suck it up and deal and quit complaining.... and actually if all goes well right away I'll be on winter break for it so that will make it easier.

waiting (and a test)

I did it. I took a pregnancy test. This waiting wouldn't be quite as bad (maybe) if it weren't for the side effects of the progesterone. For me, it has made me extremely tired AND gassy. Yep, FULL of gas. The combination of both tired and gassy made me decide yesterday to NOT do the one dose in the morning as I was told, but instead to do it as soon as I get home from work, and then right before going to sleep. If it was for a pregnancy, of course it would seem like a much lesser ordeal. But when it's for the slight glimmer of a chance... well, that makes it harder. Sooooo... back to what I started to say.... I took a test tonight. It was negative. Which means it was not a false positive from the previously injected hormones (which can happen if you test too soon) and it being negative can simply mean it's a little too early still. I find out for sure Saturday, but I guess I just wanted to see what a test might show now at 11 days past insemination. Sigh. I now see why people talk about this "2 week wait" as being soooo long. It makes sense to just want to know, one way or another.... to cautiously celebrate or move on to the next cycle. Ok, off to bed I go.... the REAL answer will be here Saturday.